we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
