my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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