Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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