I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
