I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
