saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
