I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Buhtt sex?
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
