and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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