cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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