How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
