I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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