I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
