The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
