I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
