Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
