my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Randomize
