: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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