I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
