im having a threesome with these popsicles
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Randomize
