pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
