All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
