You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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