Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
