When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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