I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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