If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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