Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
