just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Randomize
