Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
