Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
i think i scared a bird with my dick
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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