i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
