are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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