OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
