So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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