Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Randomize
