Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
