Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
