I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
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