Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
