tell your sister to shave her snatch
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Randomize
