if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
