your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
