His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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