I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
bring money and cleavage
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
