Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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