There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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