it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Your face is a jimmy john
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
