I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I think i got beer on your cat.
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