Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
