Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I'm always down for nudity.
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