One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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